


Better Days

by Quackcakes



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-08
Updated: 2018-11-13
Packaged: 2019-01-10 14:02:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 15,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12300624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quackcakes/pseuds/Quackcakes
Summary: PostWar, Severus Snape and Hermione Granger have seen better days, however a chance meeting in an old coffee shop shows the pair that better days are yet to come.Disclaimer: I own nothing, clearly, it all goes to the wonderful JKR.





	1. Part 1

Wind rustled through the trees, gently brushing past green leaves in the last days of summer. A quiet bustle ran about from the main road in town, down a small cobblestone pavement, two unlikely strangers were seated beside one another in a forlorn coffee shop that had seen better days. Tumbles of curled brown hair caught his eye first as he entered, a reminiscent air lurked in the back of his mind, before he dismissed the notion, turning to order.  
“Chai, no milk.” His heavy tones were quiet, silken and the waitress blinked twice before going to make his beverage.   
There were few seats left in the shop, his favourite being situated near the mass of tangles on the far corner of the room. Determined not to be left situated on a lumpy armchair he weaved his way past rickety tables, seating himself with a subtle flourish. For a moment he wished for his teaching robes, swirled at his feet, claiming his place, but the woman who belonged to the head of hair had not turned to see the man in dark slacks and a grey sweater.   
It was instead the voice that had alerted her, the infamous voice that roused her from the novel she was absorbing.   
“Chai?”  
“Here.”  
One word and her head snapped, staring into bottomless eyes above a hooked nose. His hair was longer than she remembered with gentle streaks of dark grey, pulled into a bun, highlighting the sharp angles of his face, although he seemed less gaunt than the war years, as though he was healthy. His voice had not changed, resonant and deep, it vibrated through the room, calling for her attention. It was in that moment, he also remembered, eager eyes that had not lost their shine, although lines creased around the edges, betraying the many years that had passed.   
“Miss Granger.”  
She felt thirteen again, with bucked teeth and a need to please.   
“Professor Snape.”   
There was a nod to her smile, before both turned back to either cup of tea. 

The next week, Monday morning, 8:15am, precisely six days, twenty-three hours and forty-five minutes since she had left the coffee shop, Hermione Granger sat, in the exact same spot, with her coffee ordered, book in hand, barely taking in the words, wondering whether or not he would be back.   
Severus Snape on the other hand, was strolling down the side walk, reluctant to let such an encounter distrub his usual pitstop for a morning tea, and so strode right in, ordered his usual and sat down across from a grinning Hermione that was hiding behind her hair.   
“Good morning, Professor.”  
She had caught him off guard, he had not expected there to be initiated contact, let alone further pushing from the last interaction, he had not allowed the possibility of it to cross his mind. All memories of the war years he tried to part with, to leave be and let rest, only to resurface with his demons in the dead of night. Hermione Granger however, seemed intent on making herself known.   
“Do you come here often?” Her voice, unlike what he remembered, had gained confidence, not from arrogance, but the tone that shows that you know what you know, from years of work and effort, not the childish arrogance she had in her youth.   
“Yes, to the morning, and to my frequenting’s of this establishment.” His tone had drawled on, and Hermione continued to stare, wondering where this man had disappeared to since the last battle, since the shrieking shack, since her last encounter with a man’s life hanging on by a thread.   
Whilst he was looking into brown eyes, finding himself rather entranced, he remembered, soft hands and a whimpering voice, bezoars and hasty patch jobs. His fingers reached to flutter along his neck, faint scars still present this many years later. This did not go unnoticed by the witch, eyeing his movement and realising that he too remembered their last encounter.   
A young waitress despotised the Professors drink by him.   
“What do you drink?” Hermione’s last-ditch attempt for this morning.   
“Chai.”   
“Ah.”   
The two went back to their respective business, but neither could concentrate on anything but the other.


	2. Part 2

In the safety of his home, Severus Snape sat rifling through old newspapers for any evidence of the Golden Trio, trying to find out what had ever happened to a Miss Hermione Granger, Know-it-all and top of her class. To begin with the three were mentioned on every newspaper, the two sidekicks paling in comparison to the reports about The Boy Who Lived. Later, Ron seemed to join the Aurors, though later leaving after a nasty injury to run Weasley’s Wizarding Wheezes with his brother. Harry, having never joined the Aurors had taken a position at Hogwarts, along with his peer Neville Longbottom. He the herbology teacher and the dunderhead Defence Against the Dark Arts. Beyond a marriage to Ron Weasley, Hermione Grangers name went unnoticed, apart from a patent in the name of Hermione Weasley for Magical shortcut spells for research. Further down the line, there was a mention back to the name of Hermione Granger, working in the Muggle department at the ministry. A scandalous report by Rita Skeeter, showed a report of Ron’s new beau, a Lavender Brown.   
It was only when Severus noticed the clock strike midnight, did he realise that he had spent the past five hours obsessed with the whereabouts of his former student. Rising to grab a strong drink, he settled back, decidedly not looking at the clippings on his coffee table.   
“She was insufferable then, and probably is now”, he muttered to himself, slowly sipping on fire whiskey. 

Hermione Granger had taken to alcohol herself, a glass of ruby wine, glittered next to her fire place, as she sat, contemplating the conundrum that was Professor Snape. She had often wondered where he had gone after that fateful night, and his presence had thrown her off guard. Realistically, she knew that after the nightmare that was her relationship with Ron, she had sworn off men as romantic partners for good. But the more alcohol that entered the bloodstream, the more she entertained the idea of running her fingers through his dark locks, and bouncing ideas off him as they read in a sunlit room. Safe, and happy. Why she felt that this man was safe she was rather unsure. Even after the murder of Dumbledore, there was always an inkling, and assurance that he was not a real threat to them. Now, years later, that same sense still lingered, and it followed her thoughts into the night, as she imagined a companionship blooming between them. 

Chance encounter, number three, as Hermione had decided to call them, which were indeed no longer chance encounters at all, but the carefully orchestrated meetings organised by both but unware of the other, was well underway, both had gotten their drinks, and preliminary greetings had been done.   
“Sir, if you don’t mind my asking, what are you doing now?” Hermione had felt that the blunt approach would be the best, and with all her Gryffindor bravery she launched the question.   
“It does not seem to matter whether I would mind or not, as you would ask anyway, but I am not in the business of much anymore, potions occasionally for the local alchemist when needed, patents and research are the closest things that I have to a job.” Severus’ voice slid under her skin, Hermione realising more and more that she was slowly becoming attached to his very presence.   
“That makes so much sense” she gasped out, clearly having an ancient question answered.   
“Does it? I did not think myself to be under the scrutiny of yourself. Or that you would know me well enough to be able to judge what does and does not make sense.” Slightly taken a back, Hermione composed herself, what else should she have expected from her snarky Teacher, but he seemed so, docile in public, not as hot-headed or fuelled with rage. She wondered about this man she had found.   
“I didn’t mean anything by it...” she began, an apology hanging on her lips.   
“Now, now Miss Granger, it is perfectly fitting of you to ask these questions, if my memory serves me well…” His fingers glanced up his face, coming to rest next to his nose rhythmically tapping.   
“Well yes, can’t say a lot has changed” she got out, ever so slightly mesmerised by those long fingers, with various nicks and burns from years of potion creations.   
“Ah well that is hardly true, patents, job with the ministry, marriage…”  
“Divorce.” Hermione ended his sentence abruptly. Snape began to feel himself leak back into a former persona, years of insults and sarcasm flooding back to him.   
"So the ginger twit didn't turn out to be enough then?" Snape snarled, Hermione’s knuckles whitened around her mug as her brow furrowed. Her romanticised picture vanished in an instant against the onslaught.   
"Since when did you care about the idea of emotion in life?" Her instant reaction was to apologise for her behaviour, but the smirk playing upon his lips caused her to halt.   
“You know you don’t need to treat me like this, toying with me like that”, the small twinge had turned into a devilish grin as Hermione spoke, his eyes glittering.   
Righteousness surging up in her like a wave, she continued.  
“Especially not after…” the drop in his face halted her immediately, his words came quick and quiet after that, making her strain to listen.   
"I was ready you know, I had nothing left, you didn't have to save me." She looked up at him with confusion in her eyes.   
"Of course I did, I couldn't have just left you…"   
His gaze would not meet with hers.  
"You with your stupid Gryffindor ideologies and desires to be the hero, you could have left me, it wasn't difficult, I was so close to death.”   
"No, I was not going to leave you, not after everything you had done." Her voice grew with concern as she replied.  
“I cursed you everyday, I wished beyond belief that you had left me,”  
But now you are grateful, he would not admit it, he could not admit it to this insolent chit of a girl, who had caused him nothing but pain, and finally a life of peace. No, he would not do it, even with her soft eyes, and delicately curved lips begging him to be honest with her.   
“Years of pain could have been dealt with swifter and more efficiently if you had minded your business.” Severus could not believe what he was saying himself, let alone Hermione. He tried desperately not to look at jeans that clung to legs, rounding her calf, forbidding himself from imagining what her ankles might look like hidden by those black boots.   
“Well I’m glad that traumatic incident served you well then” Hermione’s face scrunched into a ball, a mixture of hurt and sadness. As he looked deeper into her eyes, he saw disappointment. She had hoped, in the recesses of her heart that he had had a nice end to his life, that afterwards he would have found peace, with someone else or in solitude perhaps. It was the look that caught him, forcing his body to lunge as she raised herself to leave, grabbing her wrist, which felt both delicate and strong under his firm grasp. He could feel her pulse beating rapidly.   
“I..” The potions master stammered, unsure of what to say.   
“I like gardening.” An admission without admitting. Hermione turned, confused, staring first at their contact and back at Severus, before he reluctantly let go. Slowly she sat back down, an understanding dawning on her features.   
“Gardening, makes sense…” She grinned at him as he smirked, raising an eyebrow before taking another sip of his Chai.


	3. Part 3

The Welsh coast, there was no surprise there, solitude and isolation, the tempestuous sea and still grasses that flooded the dunes. Where else would he live?  
Well used to apparating by now, Hermione felt no nausea, instead captivated by the scenery, and the sense of his firm clasp on her arm as they had spun into existence.   
“Welcome to Pebble-shore cottage.”   
And a pebble shore it was, smooth hues of blue, grey and purple extended along the shoreline, occasionally dotted with a shimmer from sea glass not yet refined to its opalescent conclusion.   
“It’s beautiful.” These were the only words the know-it-all could use to describe what she was seeing.   
“It has seen better days”, Severus nodded towards peeling paint around the door frame, the evidence of years of battering from sea-spray and wind.   
A small hand placed on the centre of her back guided her forwards, leading her towards the entrance of his sanctuary, his escape, his home. 

She had been rather shocked when he had asked, on their fifth coincidental meeting, the question had been clipped, practised, and phrased exactly.   
“Would you care to talk somewhere that we will not be annoyed by the inane chatter here?” When in fact there had been only one other person present in the café, an old man who huffed every now and then into his newspaper, and patted his panting dog. Hermione had merely raised her eyebrow, not admitting that she had been practising this in a mimic of him for some weeks.   
“Of course”, her soft voice extended with a soft hand, that gave his firm ones a gentle squeeze, before she left, awaiting the next week, for their fortunate encounter.

“Tea?” Severus asked, ever the gracious host.   
“Chai.” She replied, a wry smile playing onto her lips that she saw reflected on his own features. Various spices were pulled from cupboards by long, pale fingers. The rhythmic sound of chopping and crushing began, the potion master in his element, stirring, creating and concocting the perfect chai.  
Soon enough the aromatic smell rose to flood the air, making it thick with the scent of cinnamon and cloves.   
“So how long have you been hiding yourself away here?” She asked, musing, thinking in earnest back to her extensive research after their first meeting, trying desperately to find any trace of him in the ministry.   
“Since the end of the war almost, I travelled for a while, in an attempt to completely disconnect myself. Asia, the Americas, various other places…” His words faded out, seeming to linger in the air with the curling steam as Hermione looked around his living room, bonsai trees and ebony dragons, paired next to small totems and ceremonial daggers.   
“And then you bought here?” She asked, still keen to know each and every detail of his new life, wondering in earnest if anyone else shared this abode.   
“Yes, the price wasn’t high, an old woman looking to sell the place off before she died, no children and a fondness for a wretched man who helped her across the street once.” Severus mused, sparing a small glance at Hermione, who was now making herself quite comfortable settling into a chocolate armchair in the corner of the room.   
“And yourself? Where has the pleasure to be your home Ms Granger?” Hermione could not help but notice the drawn out drawl of his voice, the low resonant sounds that seemed to vibrate in this room, engulfing her.   
“Yes, well, currently I have a small bungalow, Dartmoor way, apparating means I don’t have to be close to the ministry so I picked somewhere a bit out there, quiet, peaceful, just me and myself.” Although it could house one more. Whilst she enjoyed the solitude, she could easily imagine his presence, stalking through the house, relaxed on the chair by the window, reading one of favourite books. She could almost feel the warmth of him laying next to her on a bed as they awoke in the morning.  
What? No. This man is your friend, don’t kid yourself.   
The warmth she felt was indeed him, pressing a mug into her hands.

“Shall we take tea outside?” A smile was her answer, the two walked out of a sliding door, an oak tre overlooked a small table and chair set, sunlight filtered through the leaves and Hermione watched as Severus tipped his face towards the sun, basking in its warm glow.   
“So how did you afford this place, with the travel and all?”  
“The questions never cease.” Hermione blushed at his words, Severus, ever the well-trained spy indeed noticed, and whilst longing to make her blush again, quieted her embarrassment.  
“No, no its fine. For all his manipulative ways, Dumbledore with his fortune did indeed leave me a little to toy around with. Now like I said, it’s just patents and potions that keeps me in such a comfortable lifestyle.” It was then that she first heard him laugh. It was like hearing a drum echo from the deepest recesses of his throat, erupting out in the sound of pure joy. Why he had laughed she did not know, how could she know how unrealistic he would have thought this all back during the war? How he expected to die on that fateful night and now he was sitting in his home, the sun on his face and the sea in the distance, with the company of a woman he was slowly and begrudgingly falling for. Not that he would admit it.   
“So how about you, what brought you to Dartmoor?” Originally Hermione had planned on not disclosing much, but she found that in his presence her inhibitions were slowly unravelling, and she felt herself wanting to reveal everything before this man, laying her sole bare to be judged, and if possible found worthy.   
“I had to get away, everywhere else had too many memories, either of the war, or of Ron and the marriage, I just needed to get away.” Silence enveloped the pair, at this moment Hermione realised that it had been so long since she could just enjoy companionable silence. Harry was a great friend, but after the war always had to keep moving and going, couldn’t stop and think for too long. Ron had been very much the same, always needing to have something to keep going with, something to hold his attention. But here, on this little beach, with the afternoon dawning, and the smell of well-made spiced tea mixing with salt sea spray, she could just sit and be.


	4. Part 4

“Dinner?”  
“Sounds wonderful.”  
“My place? Seven?”  
“I shall see you there Ms Granger.”  
“Hermione”  
“Yes, sorry, Hermione.”  
“Thank you, Severus.”

Her third visit to Pebble-shore for tea and basking in the sunshine, led to the invitation of dinner. They had spent the day walking along the shore, pale legs and rolled up trousers being splashed by stray sea spray. The salt was poignant in the air, and Severus could not help but think that her skin would have the same taste, combined with the delectable perfume that she seemed to favour these days. They had insisted on first names a long while ago, but sometimes still he reverted back, not feeling himself worthy of addressing this woman. Where these thoughts had come from and exactly when he could not be sure, but all he could be positive about, was that these moment were the ones he cherished the most. They had ended the day in his garden, pots and plants of all varieties grew, whilst he did use magic to enhance the climate and conditions, he would often work himself, dirk caking his fingers nails as he felt himself become at one with the earth, grounding his mind and soul after a dark night. As he showed Hermione, he grew a lot of the plant based ingredients for his potions himself, demonstrating through a careful construction of a potion his own creation he was proud to say, that was intended to block out triggering sounds. Developed for those after the war, a simple charm spell, (through the aid of correspondence with Filius Flitwick) allowed the user to almost programme the brain to block out triggering sounds, encasing them in a sound bubble, allowing them to remove themselves from a situation.  
“So it monitors aspects of their body, heart rate, stress levels and basis its actions on that?” Hermione was enthralled, watching him chop and grind.  
“Yes, that is the basic idea.” He could not help grin at her enthusiasm. Whilst he has not realised then, he had enjoyed having a student who was so interested in a subject, and keen to improve their own learning.  
“That’s incredible Severus.” After completing the potion, the sun had begun to set, signalling to both of their dismay that Hermione should return home.  
And as she began to leave, Hermione had popped the question about dinner, which is how Severus had found himself with a smart shirt and slacks, a bottle of wine and a book in hand, striding towards an isolated bungalow in Dartmoor. 

“Welcome.” Hermione opened her door, a warm glow emanating into the dusk evening that Severus emerged from.  
“Good evening.” His voice was heavy, thick with an emotion that Hermione did not want to place yet for fear of being wrong.  
“Yes, quite”. She smiled, bustling through into the kitchen, wand in hand, various dishes floating in the air and placing themselves on the table. Removing the warming charms she gestured towards the table.  
“Hungry?”  
“Famished.”  
For some reason the atmosphere between them had changed, there seemed to be some unspoken agreement that the invitation and acceptance of dinner, had deepened whatever fledging friendship they currently had. 

As with most British people, it had turned out that the pair loved curry, and so curry Hermione had made. Various Pataks bottles littered the kitchen, allowing her to create a feast of Rogan Josh, Butter chicken, and Tikka Masala after work. Severus’ plate was loaded with yellow rice that reminded him of the flowers in his garden, but he was soon distracted by Hermione’s smile, that reminded him of the fragrant rose petals that he grew.  
Over dinner the two battled a variety of topics, mainly arguing about the ministry, although they were less arguing with each other, more an anonymous third party, who would seek to defend the ministry.  
“There’s just no appreciation for organisation in the muggle department, it’s ridiculous. They deal with the cases in such a flippant way. And some of those aurors are a bit too trigger happy with the obliviate charms, multiple cases now of Muggles developing mental problems after a run-in with the aurors.”  
“They have always been that way, good in the heat of a moment with a death-eater but incompetent with anything else.” Severus listened to Hermione’s rants, adding his point here and there between mouthfuls of food. He was enjoying the tune of her voice, letting it wash over him as she kept on, asking questions and making assertions.  
“I’m sorry, I’ve talked your ear off, my apologies.” Hermione’s hands flicked round to tie up her hair, securing it in what looks like a not very secure bun, the strands billowed around her head, producing almost a crown like shape, which Severus thought quite fitting.  
“Not at all, it is interesting to hear that the ministry is just as ridiculous as it was when I left.” She gave him a strange look then, as though she wasn’t sure whether to ask something, as always though, Hermione plunged forward anyway, her thirst for knowledge outweighing anything else.  
“Severus, after the shrieking shack, Harry, well Harry was yelling to Voldemort, I had always had an inkling that you couldn’t be on their side, something about it had always not seemed right to me. But Harry, he said that in the penseive…” Her voice trailed away, leaving him the space to stop her if he needed. Severus’ face was stormy. But she continued anyway, unsure of how to backpedal at this point.  
“Harry said it was because of his mother, and that you loved her, and that’s why you were on our side.” Her inflection signalled the question, that she was wondering as to the legitimacy of this statement.  
“Does it matter.” His words took on a new quality that was only reminiscent of days of old. They were harsh, and flew out of his mouth with spittle. Shrinking back Hermione realised she had struck an old nerve.  
“I’m sorry, I was only wondering because he talked about Dumbledore and the things that he held you too and…”  
“That’s enough.” His voice had gone quiet, but the look in his eye was thunderous., Both had ceased to eat, losing any and all appetite for the food before them.  
“I meant no offence.” She began, but something had shifted by this point, and he was thirsting for a fight.  
“No, no of course not, you meant to pry, to know, because nothing can satisfy Ms “know-it-all” Granger.”  
“Severus this is really not necessary.” Her hands clasped together, pressing firmly to one another, the whiteness representing the colour of his own knuckles clutching the table, as insecurity after insecurity of the past few weeks swept over him.  
“Do you really expect me to believe Granger, that this wasn’t just a new project of yours, sating an age-old question that had plagued you, ‘whatever happed to the old git after he stalked away from the battle, why did he really do it?’ Don’t tell me that’s not what this was all for.”  
“Severus please…”  
“No, don’t, don’t lie to me with fake pretences and affection, if you want to know, then you shall.”  
Severus rose to his feet, abruptly with the chair clattering in the background, he stalked over to a nearby book case, leaning against it, his shoulders straight, square and primed for attack. As he turned to look at her, a snarl was set into his face, harsh lines etched upon his forehead, his throat almost seemed to growl.  
“Yes, I did it for Lily Bloody Evans, and the bastard Dumbledore manipulated me, and I gave my life for the cause, I lived my life for the cause and I almost ruddy died for the course. My soul, god forbid it’s still there after Dumbledore and the death eater meetings. You want to know the most intimate details Hermione? Do you want to know what they do in those meetings to filthy half-bloods like me?” Severus had begun advancing on Hermione, getting threateningly closer. His teeth were bared as he uttered his last words.  
“I wanted a life of peace, after years of torture, and what do I get? A dunderhead who can’t keep her nose out of other people’s lives.” His breathing was ragged and heavy, he just stood there, staring as tears formed in the corners of her eyes, her cheeks had bloomed a violent dark red, and he could not remember feeling such hatred in a long time. He was angry, at her for tricking him, making him believe he was cared for by someone, and at Lily and Dumbledore, and Harry bloody Potter, and the Marauders and everyone else who had contributed to his screwed-up life.  
“You are a fool Severus Snape.” Her words came quickly and suddenly. He was almost unsure if he had heard them.  
“What?”  
“You, are a fool, a fool to think that I would go to such a length to just know the nitty gritty details of your miserable existence, who do you think I am? Rita Skeeter?” Hermione had unsheathed her claws now, his anger had only fuelled hers, and her rage lit up in her like a furnace.  
“I invited you here, you idiot, because I enjoy spending time with you, and you jumped to false conclusions and decided to be a bastard.” Severus was very quickly realising that his control had gone, and now she was the lioness, he her prey.  
“If you are so imbecilic to believe that I did not actually care for you, then you are just as bad as Ron, and you may as well leave.” Her final word hung in the air. He did not want it, but he could not think of what else to do. What else was there to do? And so he left, he stormed out of her bungalow, out of her once happy home, believing he had ruined everything.


	5. Part 5

Severus drowned himself in whiskey, drinking glass after glass of Ogdens finest amber liquid, until his feelings slipped away, until sounds and colours merged into one.   
You’re a fool Severus Snape. Her voice echoed inside his skull, the room had begun to swim, and her words were like flies, fool, swarming around his head, fool, buzzing back around, fool, continually making their presence known. Fool.   
“I KNOW!” He roared, the cup left his fingers, angrily propelling towards the fireplace. Glass littered the ground, fractals of moonlight spattering throughout the room.   
“I know I’m a fool”, his voice but a whisper, tenderly curling itself around the fragments of friendship he had so haphazardly broken. 

Hermione had flipped his plate, curry stains now splattered on the walls, she cried, and she cried hard, she cried out of sadness and out of rage, and for the loss of a body that now made her house feel so cold. Hermione had waited, for how many hours she did not know, but when her head lolled against the side of a chair she realised she had fallen into a fitful sleep on the freezing floor, in the hope that he would have returned. No, he insulted you. She was righteous in her anger, correct and what she had said was just, but he was scared, he was hurt. He was an idiot. The carpet looked like it would begin to ware from the pacing she had begun to do. Just go to bed Hermione, sleep it off, better off without another Ron around anyway. 

The next morning did not bring reprieve for either of them. Severus had risen to the late morning sun, blinding his eyes, causing him to curse in pain as he nursed a hangover. His jaw clenched, he set about making tea, strong black, no chai this time, not when the last time he had made it was for her. To be reminded of how the spices clung to her skin, to her hair that he could smell each time she brushed past, was the last thing he needed right now. Hermione however was struck silent when she walked back towards the dining room, quickly swishing her wand to remove the stains and dishes she noticed the bottle of wine that had been left behind, and a book cast lazily on a nearby armchair.   
Pride and Prejudice, a novel that was a favourite of hers, and how he would have remembered she was not sure, but in her silence she found herself caressing the pages, whilst a small piece of parchment slid from between the pages, landing at her feet.   
S.S Was the only inscription, she turned to look back at her book, the pride that she could sense in both, the prejudices and hurt that they held from years of scorn. But she would not be the first to cave, she could not be the first. 

It took Severus three miserable to days to realise that he had to do something. With his knees blackened from the wet earth, the rain streaming down his back and limp hair hanging in his face, he came to the revelation. I need her back. For some reason, the tea was not enough to quell the storm in his mind, that was being mimicked in the heavens above. His fingers tips gripping tightly like a vice to the ground below was not enough to pull him down from this floating state he had found himself, unable to reason, logic and make sense of what was happening. She had weakened him, had made him vulnerable, his walls had been dismantled without him realising, and now he was paying the price. 

Hermione was in the local supermarket, specifically down the bread aisle, selecting herself a crusty loaf to have with her tomato soup this afternoon, as good as homemade food was, sometimes Heinz tomato soup in a tin just provided a comfort that she couldn’t replicate. From the corner of her eye she thought there was a trace, or a wisp of something, an ethereal pale blue, almost white stream of light. As she began to contemplate, the fluorescent shop lighting flickered and she dismissed it as nothing more than a trick of the light. 

The next day, she was out on the moors, attempting to quell the grief she was feeling at the loss of her friend. A small rabbit gently bounded over the hill, stopping still when it saw her. All she could think about was that the black eyes were a stark reminder of Severus’, and that its tentative behaviour towards her had been just like his in the beginning. In this brief sea of peace she did not expect to be startled by a strong Patronus, commanding her attention. The presence of the doe, appearing next to the rabbit startled the creature away. Hermione rose from her seat on the damp moss, moving closer to the doe, her hand outstretched as she petted its neck.   
“I know Severus, please come back.” The wind blocked out all sound, but the doe knew her message and turned away, leaving her alone in the wastelands of south England. 

With his fist raised to knock upon her door, Severus paused, breathing deeply, attempting to keep a calm level head. Why is it than in a war I can perform calmly, but this chit of a girl has reduced me to a snivelling idiot? He did not want to answer himself, he did not want to come to terms with the fact that he now felt like he needed her, relied on her, couldn’t imagine his life with regular visits from her shining face. He didn’t want to admit that finding her hair on his clothes gave him such joy, or how he found the way her fingers wrapped around his cups, as though they were her own, to be mesmerising.   
And finally, after processing all this, he knocked. 

A.N The response for this fanfic so far has been amazing! Thank you all so much for your support. And I’m sorry for the cliffhanger, fear not, the angst shall end soon and fluff will take its place!


	6. Part 6

You’re a fool!

The words from nights ago seemed to linger in the air. The room felt stagnant, as though unfinished business had made itself a permanent residence within her house. The door had taken an age to open, Severus very much wondering whether or not it would, beginning to doubt whether he had understood the message from his patronus correctly.   
But he was not prepared for her when she appeared.   
Her eyes seemed red rimmed, midnight bags hid beneath them, her hair almost seemed tired in itself, slightly less jovial and wild as he remembered. Please don’t let it be that I have caused this. It was like watching a masterpiece rot in mildew, like a symphony played with out of tune instruments. And he couldn’t stand and watch it.  
“Hermione, I..”  
“Its ok.”  
“No. “  
Neither could not look at the other. Her finger tips rushed to brush against the side of his face, Severus longed to lean into the touch but instead tore himself away, Hermione making a small gasp in surprise.   
“No, no it’s not ok. I have not come to ignore this, witch, I know what I have done and I will pay my dues.”  
“Severus please.”  
Hermione’s arms crossed over her chest. When had her forearms become so sensual?   
“Severus this is ridiculous, justice does not need to come and reign down upon you, it seems you’ve done that enough yourself judging by your dour mood.” Her eyebrow raised slightly, and had he been of right mind, he might have smirked. She watched as his brow furrowed, as though he was trying to find the right words. He knew them of course, but he was struggling to form them coherently.  
“You were right.” The first set of words almost seemed choked out, like a tap unclogging, making way for the stream that would soon pour through.   
“I am a fool, and if you desire it now, I shall leave, but I wanted.” He paused, the silence almost growing unbearably loud between the two, as though it were a chasm, a vacuum sucking in all the air that they could breathe.   
“I wanted to apologise. I assumed, and I was a fool, I drew the incorrect conclusions Hermione and now I can’t even begin to see how I could have been so wrong. So now I shall go, but I didn’t want to leave it like that. You deserve better.” You deserve the world. His final words left unspoken, he turned to take the door, bitterly regretting his actions, but not daring to hope that she would want him, an old git around.   
“You really are a fool.” His heart would have sunk were it not for the trace of a laugh in her voice, for the sparkle in her eyes and the mirth on her face.   
“You really think I want you gone? Honestly Severus, I pried and you reacted a bit badly, but its over now, you don’t have to go, not unless you want to.” At some point during her speech her hands had found his, holding them close to her chest, the two were pressed closer than he had ever imagined being.   
“I for one, would rather you stay around.” Her fingers had begun to play lightly on his own, stroking scars and keeping herself from having to look into black orbs that now bore down upon her. Severus had no words, no conceivable way of dealing with this situation that he thought so impossible.   
“But I’m” he began.   
“But you’re what? Older than me? A fool? Sour? Cutting? An ex-death eater? Don’t be preposterous, what about the things you truly are? A hero? A lover of tea and the garden? A potions master? A teacher? A friend.”  
Silence enveloped the two again, Hermione began to move closer, almost pressing herself against him.   
“Severus, you are observant, you surely must have noticed by now that I care for you.” He gulped, a rush of childish hormones flooded his body at her presence, he was venturing into a dream world, not even one he could conceive of in his own imagination, and this was real.   
“Severus I know I am young, and no match for you but please, don’t leave because of this. If you find me annoying or prying or anything then fine, but do not leave for this.” Her words had become a plea, she was begging him to stay, and Severus could not believe that someone so perfect and beautiful would do such a thing.   
“I would never even conceive of leaving, unless you didn’t want me.”   
Her head seemed to nestle perfectly on his chest, arms curling around his back, he fumbled for a moment, unsure of how to hold her, but found that the curve of her waist lead him into a warm embrace. 

A.N: Thank you all again for your support. I’m not sure how much further to go with this at the moment, so please review and let me know if this should go further and any ideas you have for where it should go 


	7. Better Days: part 7

Severus dared to raise an eyebrow over his book, whilst normally the research from east Asia into the properties of a new ingredient combination would have him enthralled, they did little to sate his curiosity right now, instead it lingered upon the curve of a calf that was tucked beneath a leg, hidden by a large burgundy skirt, belonging of course to a woman who seemed like she could have come from the wilds. This thought was an odd one to him, that this creature so ethereal in beauty and wild in appearance was so rigorous and strict in nature, organised and decisive, and it enticed him.   
“Severus?” Eyes shot upwards, he had to suppress the desire to smile as he fell into her warm eyes.   
“Yes?”   
“More tea?”  
“I’ll get it.”   
His lean figure moved towards the kitchen with an ease that Ron had never mastered in her home. He had been comfortable yes, but there was this mature assurance that Severus commanded, this house was as though it was his home too. And his home could comprise any location that she was. Her thoughts pulled her into a world of make believe before a steaming apple and cinnamon was thrust under her nose. She inhaled slowly, taking in not only the sweet scent of this spicy concoction, but also the lemongrass that permeated from his skin.   
With her eyes closed, eyelashes like butterflies poised on her skin, Severus almost felt his legs buckle under the weight of what he had here with him.   
These two had played cat and mouse all afternoon, it was clear that something was brewing, words such as those spoken could not be released into the universe and not command some attention. Severus could not remember the last time someone had begged him not to leave.   
“Do you really find my presence so enjoyable?” His thoughts had begun to flood from his vocal chords, apart from those he considered too far, those that were kept securely behind walls of steel, his shields of occlumency had never felt so necessary since the war. His only reply was a small red pillow, with golden trim that whipped across his lace, leaving behind a trail of mirth.   
“If I had wanted stupidity I wouldn’t have invited you over Severus Snape.”   
“I am glad to hear it.”   
Hermione returned to her book, although all attention was on the sound of his breathing, and her peripherals were attuned to his steepled fingers, propping up a strong chin that had a hint of a day’s new growth.   
“There is only so long you can pensively stare for, until I begin to wonder why you know?”  
“Insufferable know-it-all.”  
She rolled her eyes, Severus had never seen such an act look so endearing since Lily had rolled her eyes at Marauder antics long ago. But this seemed different, he had loved Lily yes, but it was youthful and childish, now, now he had found a woman that was his equal, his counterpart, who far surpassed him in all the ways he could imagine. Yet he dared not admit that love could be on the cards now. He could not admit to her, nor himself that this was the truth that lay behind his walls.   
“I’m serious you know, tell me what’s going on.” Her voiced was laced with concern, but the upturned corner of her lips placed him at ease, he was safe here.   
“I’ve just been thinking, I never intended to outlive the end of the war, and I never imagined such a life as this to be possible.”   
“Not many of us did I don’t think.” Hermione had placed down her book, her arms crossed in her lap as she made herself comfortable. Severus leaned further forwards, his legs uncrossing as elbows propped him above his thighs.  
“Yes, but that’s not what I mean.” Hermione’s brow furrowed, undoubtedly looking for clues in his face, whist he opened his expression to her, she was unlikely to decipher the meaning.   
“I mean, that I never thought that I should be so lucky, to have more than one home that feels as my own, to have two mugs regularly used in my house, and someone to discuss my research and latest reads with.” Hermione’s mouth had now formed into a small ‘o’ as she began to comprehend his words. His heart was thumping erratically, and as he peered behind his walls, he feared that all hell would break loose if he lost control of the thin composure that was currently bending like a thin tree in the wind.   
“Severus, I would never have imagined this happening”. His face dropped, and her words hurried at the sight  
“But that does not mean that I am not grateful, this is my most treasured relationship, one that I am most thankful for, I would not trade it for anything in the world.”  
The pair smiled, there was an inclination of his head towards hers, an acknowledgement, an understanding. They were in deep, although how deep, they were not prepared to understand or recognise on that warm Saturday afternoon. 

A.N – Sorry I’ve been away for a little bit guys, I’m right in the middle of exam season so things are pretty hectic right now, but I’ve managed to make this in a procrastination session. I can’t tell you how amazing the response for this is, I love you all and your support so so much, so thank you 


	8. Better Days: Part 8

“Really Severus, is it not possible to order these ingredients?” Hermione huffed as she detangled herself from yet another bramble, their jaunt into the woods gave her flashbacks of her time on the run, and she found herself starting at every crack and rustle that morning.  
“The freshness of the ingredients is of the utmost importance, and those dunderheads box and freeze them in stasis half the time, the resulting potion is incredibly less potent.”  
“Whatever you say.” Hermione continued to grunt and groan, but she decided that the occasional trip was worth not having to experience another lecture from her old professor, whilst she usually loved Severus’ rambles, the mizzle that was pouring down upon them and the freezing temperatures were not helping her mood.  
“Aha, now if you could please pass me that silver knife, this will be the last item on our list”. Hermione grumbled an Oh thank god as she handed the implement to the man that was stooped low on the ground, fingers digging around the dirt as rain drops dripped from his hooked nose.  
“Now this root, must be handled delicately, and stored in only an obsidian container when it has been detached from the base of the tree it feeds off. The ancients once believed that rubbing the root on the body could create steel like armour to protect oneself. The actual properties of this root strengthen the skin and blood vessels, preventing bruises and lacerations.” Severus looked almost sheepish as he reigned in his passions, stowing away the root and continuing back down the track they had come.  
“So why haven’t I heard of this before? Surely it would have come in useful back at the school, what with students injuring themselves at an hourly rate.”  
“Because it can have some very dangerous side effects, not to mention that the potion is incredibly difficult to brew, and I know this because I have been cultivating the potion. The thickening of the blood vessels could potentially create blockages, and if enough damage is sustained there could be internal haemorrhaging rather than external bleeding…” Severus continued, not noticing Hermione walk slow, her eyes glazed over and her hands grasped wildly at the nearest tree.  
“Severus please”.  
His head whipped around at the frailty of her words, stumbling to her aid, he began to ask what was wrong, assessing her condition in a calculated manner, her heart rate was increasing…  
“Severus, I’m fine, physically anyway, it’s the, it’s the flashbacks, from, from the war.”  
“Oh.” He held her then, as he remembered countless nights awoken in cold sweat, Nagini’s scales shimmering in the mirror, light breaking through curtains as killing curses and always he felt the wound as though it were reopening, his nimble fingers fluttering down scars that would never fully heal.  
“It will pass”. These were the only words he could think to comfort, he knew that it would not get better, that those images were still with him this long, that the realness of watching his colleague’s die would never fade, that seeing those students that were full of life crumble like paper in a fire, seeing all the people he had worked so hard to protect struggle under the onslaught of the cruciatus curse, he knew there was nothing else to be done now but sit and bear the memories that would never leave. 

“Tea?”  
“Yes please”. A sweet aroma lured her back from the past,  
“What kind is?”  
“Linden, or Lime blossom, whilst making a good tea for relaxing and restfulness, the properties of the linden tree have been used for centuries in potions and spells for protection and good luck.” Appealing to her interests and natural thirst for knowledge he knew would draw her out from the haze she had been stuck in ever since they had returned.  
“Mmm” her eyelids fluttered in delight as she inhaled, tentatively tasting the honeyed liquid that Severus had supplied, the taste not betraying the small amount of calming drought he had placed inside the tea. After several moments of silence, Hermione under the watchful gaze of the old spy, she began to make her apologies.  
“Severus, I really am sorry.”  
“No need.” His voice cut her short, she stopped, her face puzzled at his abrupt dismissal of her need to apologise. She had not thought him one to tolerate unnecessary emotional engagement, let alone weakness, whilst she had seen him incredibly vulnerable in these past weeks, it was still hard for her to dismiss the stony-faced man she had once known, who did not allow unnecessary indulgence.  
“I fought to, I know what it is like to remember what happened, and the unpleasantries occurred, there is no need to apologise for being human.” His voice had quieted, the pair remained silent, Hermione trying to see if she could understand this man, the pain that he spoke from and the reality that he lived. Her hand reached across, hers warmed from the cup of tea and his pale and cold. Wrapping her fingers around his she tilted her head, staring into his eyes.  
“Lets at least be human together then, the both of us. Because frankly having someone to give me tea whilst I’m panicking is better than rocking back and forth in a corner don’t you think?” Severus chuckled at the image, clasping her hand in agreement.  
“I think that would be agreeable.”

AN: Hi, I know im really sorry its been so long *dodges rotten vegetables and fruit being thrown*, it’s been a super busy time with exams, then Christmas and the new year and work, but I’m back and still keen to keep going with this story. So, thanks for sticking around, and make sure to comment and let me know your thoughts because its always so appreciated. I hope you all had some good holidays.


	9. Better Days: Part 9

“You seem different.” Hermione couldn’t help but notice that Harrys green eyes seemed the same as when he was young, old and full of a weight too heavy for any eleven-year-old to carry.  
“I’m fine.” Hermione took another sip of her tea, she was fine, things were going well, she finally had companionship with someone who understood her completely, whilst memories from the war may never go away, her and Severus had begun to work on a series of tests and experiments to help survivors with mental trauma, the work was hard but engrossed her every waking hour.  
“I’m just tired”. She promised with a smile, and Harry frowned, unconvinced.  
“No, no there’s something going on, you seem, more relaxed than usual.” Harry had noticed the way she hadn’t flinched at his touch earlier, a habit she had picked up in the war years and hadn’t seemed to have dropped before now.  
“Harry, I promise you, things are fine, things are good, I’m keeping busy.”  
“Yes, but I still worry about you Hermione, all alone in your house and by yourself, it isn’t healthy.”  
Hermione had known that this conversation would come up again, and knew that she could not dismiss it much longer, he would eventually find out, as oblivious as the famous Harry Potter was, there was too much paraphernalia in her house now to hide it, black over coats and coffee mugs, spectacles that rested on her coffee table that were clearly not hers and the occasional dark hair that rested on her woollen jumpers.  
“Harry, just listen for a second, before you get yourself worked up. I’m not alone all the time anymore, I’m not keeping myself cooped up all by myself, I’ve been doing projects and research with a partner so just don’t worry about me alright?” Harry’s eyes narrowed, creasing his lightning scar between a furrowed brow.  
“And this companion is?”  
“A fellow researcher, scholar and scientist, and we’re doing important work that is tiresome but fruitful.” Knowing full well by now that Hermione would not release information she was not ready to give all he replied with was.  
“Well I hope I at least get to meet this mystery person at some point.”  
“And I’m sure you will.”  
The old friends sipped at hot drinks as they shared a companionable silence in that autumn afternoon. 

“You’ve met someone.”  
“I don’t know what the hell you mean Minerva”.  
“Don’t play coy with me Severus, I’ve known you for many years now, and I can tell that something has changed, so tell me, who is she?”  
“Minerva, as much as I like to revel in the stupidities that arise from Gryffindor idiocy, I never thought you would stoop so low as to prove my point.” Severus virtually choked on his tea under the stern gaze that Minerva McGonagall gave him whilst the firelight seemed to flicker setting her eyes aflame. He felt reduced back down to a first-year cowering over her stern voice in the classroom.  
“Really Minerva, its nothing, I have a research partner, wasn’t that what you told me to do? Not to be so cooped up alone all the time?” She sipped her tea, baiting him in her silence, bidding him to tell more. Whilst able to stand against the whims of Voldemort, and his operations of fear, after many years Severus had cracked under the love and loyalty that he had experienced from Minerva, and struggled to keep much from her these days.  
“She’s a friend, we just spend a lot of time together, we’re researching into spells and potions to help those coping with psychological trauma after the war, its nothing.”  
Severus sat tight lipped, occasionally forcing small amounts of tea into his mouth, and pointedly ignoring the smirk that now adorned Minerva’s face.  
“It’s not that lady from the ministry is it? The one dealing with compensation after the war, Bertha? No Bella?”  
Severus just huffed in the corner, refusing to take part in her stupid games.  
“Maybe that lovely girl that works down in the local apothecary, she seems to have a fine hand in potions, Laticia is her name yes?”  
“For God’s sake Minerva, don’t be ridiculous. Bonita is about as interesting as a flobber worm and Laticia is married, although of course you already knew this, all you’re trying to do is convince me to give you a name but I will not be subject to your silly psychological mind tricks.”  
Minerva could only laugh.  
“Oh Severus, you know full well you’ll tell me soon enough”. And with a frown upon his face he replied.  
“Not today.” And took his leave. 

AN. Thanks again for all your support and interaction, keep commenting and favouriting and all that because I love seeing that you guys love this story!


	10. Better Days: Part 10

“Severus?”   
“Mhm?”  
“What are you doing next weekend?” Hermione sat with bated breath in anticipation for his answer. Her eyes had not taken in any words from the parchment she had been reading for the past half an hour as she struggled to think of how to orchestrate her question.   
“Witch you know as well as I do I have nothing planned, why do you ask?”  
Hermione repositioned herself, fidgeted with the hem of her jumper and then averted her eyes before speaking, none of this nervousness however went unnoticed.   
“Well it’s just that I was with Luna the other day, and she has a holiday home in the south of France and said that I needed to get away, something about Wrackspurts and Nargles and that a holiday would help. She said that next weekend was free, and given the correspondence I used to have with Fleur my French is enough to get us through and I thought it might not be an entirely bad idea…” She trailed off, finally allowing herself to look at the stern man and decide whether he was appalled or intrigued. Severus of course knew what she was asking but wanted to hear it fall from her lips instead, wanted to really audibly hear her want his presence.   
“And you’re asking me because?” He drawled, clearly toying with her. She rolled her eyes at him now, clearly seeing his antics.   
“Because I want you to come on holiday with me, otherwise I’ll be shut up in some house and be dreadfully bored.”  
“I’m glad I’m a source of entertainment and not boredom.” She chuckled at his words before raising to take his cup.   
“More tea?”  
“Please.” 

“So do you really want me to come along?”  
“Why else would I have asked?”   
“Mmm”  
The sound of a boiling kettle filled the space between them when neither spoke.   
“South of France?”  
“Yes”  
“I hear there’s a particular type of sandworm down there with some properties we could utilise in our research.”  
“Is that a yes?”  
“Do you need it spelt out for you witch?”. A smile graced Hermione’s face as pressed a fresh mug of strong black tea in Severus’s hands, catching the edges of his fingers with hers ever so slightly, and sat down back to read the theories she was supposed to have finished an age ago. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Severus brushed his hair back before knocking upon the door of Hermione Granger, his hair was softer these days, no longer hanging limp in damp dungeons over steaming cauldrons, it was allowed to breathe and had adopted a cleaner quality that the greasy git had not been known for. Small trunk in hand he attempted to rap three times on the door but it interrupted him, opening after only the second knock.   
“Severus, Hi! Just come in a second whilst I get the rest of my things.” An unusually flustered Hermione was scurrying around her house, throwing various items and books in a patchwork bag that had been discarded on the sofa.   
“I would have thought you of all people be packed and ready to go?” He smirked, observing her beneath raised eyebrows.   
“Well I would have been, but I had an unexpected situation to deal with this morning, and so I was delayed in being ready.”   
“Situation?” Hermione considered how to answer, did she want to bring Severus into this mess just yet? Did he wanted to be included into her life in such a way?   
“It’s nothing, just made me a little late is all.” And before he could question her further, she disappeared into another room to finished packing. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The pair had apparated to what seemed to be a 20 minute walk away from the cottage.  
“She couldn’t let us apparate to outside the house?”   
“It upsets the Nargles”.   
Severus huffed at the answer Hermione had provided, clearly dismissing Miss Lovegood’s usual nonsense as they began to walk along the cliffside.   
Whilst he would rather have liked to dispose of his luggage, he could not fault the view that was before him, on the left the cliff edge with blue waves lapping at the banks beneath, he could smell the salty air that reminded him of his home but here there was warmth, and before the long he had undone the top button of his shirt, the white linen shining brightly in the afternoon sunshine. On the right-hand side were fields, but these did not attract his attention, instead his gaze was drawn to lightly freckled skin that was upturned to the sun, her face seemed as though it was drinking in the light. Each strand of hair seemed to have harnessed this power also, glowing in some strange and messy halo around her head. 

“Home sweet home” Hermione said as she reached for a small note tacked to the door. Luna had left basic information about where the keys were, who to call if there was a problem and of course what to do if there was a snorlak infestation. As they walked in Hermione stumbled upon the bottle of wine and two empty glasses, another small note reminded her “When in Rome”. Hermione chuckled, whispering to herself.   
“When in Rome indeed”. 

A.N Again thank you all for your support, and keep favouriting, following and reviewing because I love to hear your ideas. If you haven’t already, take a look at the one shot I’ve written for this fic – “Paraphernalia”, it takes place between chapters 8 and 9. I’m thinking of writing a second chapter to it taking place in Severus’ home so again, if you like the idea tell me! Also keep your eyes peeled in upcoming chapters of this for a competition I’m thinking of holding to decide the next oneshot I write for this story, let me know if this is something you guys would be interested in! Longer A.N than usual but lots to update you all on, and as always thanks again.


	11. Better Days: Part 11

“Would you like a glass?” Severus enquired, peering over to Hermione who was currently sat curled up in the arm chair, book in hand.   
“Sure.” The evening had crept up on the two, after a while spent unpacking, pottering around finding light switches and hot water they had taken a short stroll outside that had turned into a long amble, and found themselves now bathed in the light of the setting sun thanks to the west facing windows.   
The reds that found themselves streaking the sky also appeared in the liquid Severus was depositing into two crystal glasses. Hermione seemed to find that she liked the way the light filtered through the glass and played with his long fingers, and that Severus seemed to gain an air of sophistication when brandishing alcohol, although he seemed most at home and in his natural habit with his hands curled around a cup of tea.   
He placed a one cup within Hermione’s grasp and then settled down opposite, peering over at her from the rim of his glass.   
“Yes?”  
“Nothing.”   
“Mhm.”  
Hermione had again found herself in her usual predicament when attempting to read around Severus nowadays, he would watch her sometimes, as though he had a pondering look on his face, as if trying to decipher an arithmancy problem, and she could not help but be drawn in by the attention, drinking it up like cool water on a hot day.   
“Did you want something?”  
Yes “No”.   
“Are you sure, you look as if you’re itching to say something.”  
“Hardly, if anything I’m just wondering as to what insane plans you might have for this trip.”  
Hermione huffed, knowing there were answers he was keeping hidden, but she played along for now, like a cat biding her time.   
“Well I was thinking potentially exploring the little villages nearby, letting you find out where you need potion ingredients yada yada and nice strolls along the beach for a restful holiday. Did you have anything else in mind.”  
Yes “Not particularly, seems as though you’ve given this some thought.”  
A lot “Just a little, wasn’t going to drag you here without any plan, was I?”  
The pair retreated into silence, sipping on ruby wine. Hermione could not help but notice how Severus’ chest rose and fell beneath his thin shirt, as though his beating heart was audible in their quiet room. Similarly, Severus was taking in the young witch’s appearance, her hair had nestled around her shoulders, like a shawl that seemed to drape along and tease sights of collarbones, the same way jeans had lifted up to reveal slender ankles that he was encapsulated by. 

“You know it’s getting rather late, I may head off to bed if it’s all the same to you.” His remark came with a stretching of legs as he stood, his height a clear presence that Hermione could not help but notice.   
“Yes of course, I’ll follow you up.”  
The two walked up the stairs in silence, disappearing into separate rooms, shutting doors and masks falling as they were hidden behind wooden planks. Each thinking of the other in this little house on the edge of the world. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Goodmorning”  
“Likewise”.   
Hidden beneath these greetings were many things, many unsaid truths and hidden fantasies.  
I dreamt about you last night.   
We were happy.   
We didn’t have to part to separate rooms.   
Although both were too blinded to see the longing eyes that glanced in each other’s direction over breakfast.   
“Sleep well?” Severus asked, bent over a frying pan.   
“Very well, longest sleep in I’ve had in a while, and yourself”  
“Restful”. Hardly, you barely slept a wink for thinking of her.  
“And so what is this delicious smell that brought me down?”  
“Bacon and eggs? Thought you might be hungry.”   
“Famished”. Whilst it should come to no surprise that Severus was a skilled cook, being a potion master helped in these areas, she could not help but contemplate his kindness, it wasn’t as if he had never cooked for her before, but those things had been planned, scheduled, set in stone, not spontaneous moments of care.   
Hermione lunged at the opportunity the moment provided.   
“This is incredibly kind of you, you know.” Gesturing to the plate.   
“Think nothing of it”. His dismissal ended the conversation, the compliment and Hermione’s hope that something may have sprouted between them this fine morning.   
The breakfast that morning began in silence, before Severus felt that whilst he did not mind listening to her breathing, as though it were trees whispering in the forbidden forest, he thought she may benefit from a conversation that would distract her from whatever thoughts were causing her brow to furrow.   
“So, I was thinking about going to go down to the caves along this cliff line if you’d care to join me? There were a few specimens that I believe may be down there for some of the potions we were working on.”  
Hermione’s mouth was full of food at this moment, and so she nodded her head rather ungracefully, causing Severus’ lips to curl into a smirk.   
“Well then hurry up and get dressed, I’ll meet you outside.” 

A.N Some serious pining in this chapter aha, but I hope you all enjoy it. I’ve decided that the 40th comment gets to pick the topic for the next one shot I do, this could be in the form of a line or theme or scenario you want to see played out. Also stay tuned because I will be adding an extra chapter to Paraphernalia at some point. Again, thanks for all your life and comments, and watch out for some serious fluff soon!


	12. Better Days: Part 12

“Hermione”, he said, his hand resting on the small of her back and guiding her forwards. Down they walked along the cliff edge, steps hidden to most eyes were etched into the face and they climbed down, Severus’ old war wounds causing him to wince every now and then.   
“Are you alright?” She asked, concerned plastered across her face.   
“It’s nothing, honestly”.   
Hermione by now knew better than to pry, especially in such a precarious position, and so resolved to hound him later, as to why he was in clear pain.   
Both paused for breath once they reached the cove below, weaving their way through rock formations they delved deeper into this cave that Severus had discovered would be home to the Gaudium worm.   
“Its name meaning joy, links to the euphoria one can feel when ingesting the slime it excretes, however, judging by some rune laws we found in the old books, I may be able to use its properties to link rather than just the feeling of joy to memories containing joy, combing this with our other research we could use this to stimulate calming and joyful memories in the subject when facing a trigger.” Severus’ deep voice resonated off of the cave walls, filling Hermione’s senses in a way she had never experienced before.   
“Sounds like this could potentially work, and where can we find these Gaudium worms?”   
“They hide in the crevices, down in the darkest parts, you can see a faint red glow, like a trail from the secretions, so soon enough we should begin to see their paths.”  
Hermione had her eyes peeled, searching for small trails of red patches, as they approached the darker area, where barely any light had escaped too she feared she was seeing things, or not seeing things at all, the inky blackness made her stumble as she reached out to grab the nearby wall, instead finding Severus’ body moving towards her own, holding her steady.   
“Careful there”. He was right next to her now, she could feel his breath tickling her neck as they walked slowly further in.   
“I’m fine”  
“I know”.   
They continued like this, neither willing to pull away, until Hermione let out a small gasp.   
“There!” Sure enough, despite being unable to see the outstretched hand she was using to point at the phenomenon, there were pale crimson streaks in the darkness, Severus moved past Hermione, his body colliding with hers as he slid past her in the small tunnel. “  
“Sorry I didn’t mean to..  
“It’s alright”  
“I just need to go and..”  
“Yeah of course, go right on ahead.”  
Severus then proceeded to follow the trail with his hands, until he was sure he had reached the nesting place.   
“Now I didn’t light my wand earlier, because it would be impossible to see the trails in the light, but now that I’ve found them, we shall be granted the grace of sight again.   
“Lumos.”   
Severus extracted the worms, storing them in stasis until he could observe them properly back in his laboratory.   
“Well if its all the same to you and that’s the last of them, then let’s get going, I feel like a cuppa couldn’t go amiss right about now.” Severus grinned at Hermione’s suggestion, taking in the sight of her stood there in the damp cave, considering it how crazy it was that she was even with him here at all.   
“Quite”. And so, the pair headed back on up to the cottage, and within half an hour the kettle had boiled, tea had been poured, and the Severus was about to join Hermione on the sofa. 

“Would you mind if I?” He asked, before proceeding to take the seat next to her, as opposed to across from her she noticed.   
“By all means.” She gestured, there was a gap of 50cm between their thighs, not that either would admit to counting.   
They sat in silence for some time, basking in each other’s presence, until Severus seemed to shudder, reaching up to grasp his neck.   
Hermione, alarmed, reached for him.  
“Severus! Are you alright”.   
“Yes witch, its fine, don’t meddle.” The pain had his teeth on edge, his jaw clenched hard, he could not keep a straight mind to be kind in this moment. Sharp tongue grinding against his incisors.  
“No, you’re not, you weren’t earlier, and you certainly aren’t now, so you’re going to tell me exactly what’s wrong and then I’m going to see what I can do to help.”  
“Don’t be so nosey”  
“And don’t be such a grouch, now tell me what’s wrong.”  
Severus huffed, he was too tired to defend against her now, and when she was in this mood, he found himself hard pressed to beat her.   
“Its just war wounds, Lingering aches and pains. Earlier it was my leg, the climb down just put strain on it, and my neck, its from” he paused, and she answered for him.   
“Nagini”.   
“Yes.”  
Silence engulfed them again.   
“It never truly healed, not in the sense that scars fade, it is cold, and sometimes there is pain, but there is only so much one can do when performing healing magic on themselves.”  
Hermione’s brow furrowed for a moment. Before coming to a realisation, whilst not a healer, she had taken the time to delve into the books on healing magic before going on the run, deeming is a necessary precaution with Ron and Harry around, you could at least try.   
“Let me try, I don’t know a whole lot, but the bits and pieces I do know, who knows, its worth a shot, the magic from someone else might do it some good.”   
Snape rolled his eyes.   
“Now Hermione, this is hardly necessary, it will pass soon enough, and its not as if I haven’t tried.”  
“Please Severus, let me help”. It was the earnest look in her eyes that convinced him. The chocolate that seemed to melt all cares away until he was encapsulated utterly and totally.   
“Fine”. 

A.N Here we go guys, a bit of a longer chapter for you. And don’t forget, 40th comment gets to pick the theme for a oneshot! Also if you haven’t already make sure to check out the companion piece to this story, (soon to be a two shot) Paraphernalia. As always continue to favourite follow and comment, and again thank you all so much for your support.


	13. Better Days: Part 13

Hermione had spent half an hour looking back and forth between Severus' neck and an old book on healing she had found on one of Luna's shelves. Meanwhile Severus had been uttering many unhelpful comments pertaining mostly to the uselessness of this venture and his perceived ineptness of Hermione's abilities in this instance.  
"If it's so bloody easy then you should do it, and so far, you haven't done much good so quit whining and let me concentrate." Hermione resumed back to her position, tongue peaking ever so slightly between pink lips that had now captivated Severus' attention, causing him to obey her commands and stay silent for the next ten minutes.  
"This is useless"  
"I told you"  
"No, I mean this book, there just hasn't been enough research into the results of wounds inflicted by horcruxes. So far that's all I can attribute it to be, its not poison or infection, and the only variable left is the potential effects of Nagini being a horcrux, which may have a more lasting and enhanced effect, maybe given that it entered your bloodstream? But no such research has been done that I have come across."  
"Neither for I, and I have been looking a lot longer than you." Severus shrugged over to the left, with a flick of his hand he reheated his tea that had gone cold and began to drink it again, letting the warm wash over his body.  
"Severus this simply won't do." Hermione's face had gained a stoic quality, her jaw was set, she was certain in her convictions at this point and Severus realised that resistance would be futile.  
"What won't do?"  
"These after effects, of the war, I know it was inevitable, but its been what, 20 years since the war? You still have problems with your neck, Harry can never sit still for five minutes, his reflexes are always on edge, I start at every noise and movement I don't know is going to happen, and most of us are still suffering some form of PTSD whether its in night mares or visions during the day, this simply won't do. That battle was supposed to make a better world."  
"It has, the Dark Lord is no more, death eaters no longer wander the streets, torturing at will."  
"Yes, yes I understand that Severus, but I mean a better world for us. Where is our victory?"  
"Our victory is that we won"  
"But at what cost."

There was silence between the two, Severus hadn't seen Hermione this agitated in a long time. Her shoulders were tensed, jaw set, this clearly had been bothering her for a while, something had culminated this bottle of emotions that had just exploded like one of Seamus Finnigan's potions.  
"It was worth it, I know that, but what did we lose? How many of us still nurse battle scars, how many of us lost family, friends," She thought back to the Weasley twins, most of them still thought of them as 'the twins' even though one was irrevocably gone. She thought of Dumbledore and Sirius and Remus and Tonks and all the students who were left dead, glass eyes and lolling heads on the field of battle, green grass tainted red by not just the bodies of their enemies.  
"How many of us lost ourselves?" Severus found he could not answer her, could not answer the question that had plagued him since he started down this road as a spy decades ago. Was it all really worth it? The question was of course yes, of course it was worth it, who could possibly suggest ending Voldemort wasn't. But still there was the niggling sensation, the doubt in the mind that it was not worth your personal cost, not worth lives that could have been spared. Not worth children, children who just wanted to go to school. Despite being dead for twenty years it felt as though the Dark Lord was still poisoning lives.  
"Will we ever be free of this? Of his reign of terror that seems to live past his death. Maybe he did achieve what he wanted, in this way, he is immortal."  
They sat in silence once more, in an understanding of the other of fears and voices they had been too scared to share with others

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The pair has not spoken of the incident that occurred that afternoon, although Hermione remained solid on the fact that one day she would find a way to heal Severus Snape, in mind, body and soul, she had made it her mission, and once she was set on something there was no way to change her mind. Severus, on the other hand, had just felt relief, that someone would think the same as he, that logically they would accept the worth of what they had done, but that inside the same fears still lingered, fears that may have been rejected and ridiculed in the larger wizarding society, potentially painting him as death eater-sympathisers and the like. So, he took stock in this woman that he was clearly falling for, that she could understand him in a way that even Lily had never managed. She had been his best friend yes, but Lily had never gone as far to understand why he had been pulled to the dark side, why his actions were such and why they were not the same. Hermione, however, had no problems with drawing these conclusions and accepting them, which frankly took his breath away.

After spending some time alone to pair had reconvened for dinner. Severus had been down at the local market, selecting various seafood for their evening meal. While Hermione had been rather distracted with some research she had brought with her, Severus, not having the will to berate her for working during a holiday, given that he would have done the exact same thing, just watched her from the kitchen as pans sizzled away and prawns began to garnish white plates.  
"If I could tempt you to lift your nose out of that book, you might find something quite to your liking."  
Whilst Hermione couldn't have not noticed the delicious dinner Severus had been preparing, it had been in the back of her mind as she scanned through their research on potential triggers and the elements they were testing, looking to see if anything they had stumbled upon could be used in her new directive.  
"If you insist". His smirk caused her to chuckle as she made her way to the table, he pulled out her chair, her puzzled face at his gentlemanly antics caused his lips to curve higher as he took his place in silence.  
"My hope is that you enjoy seafood, the fresh specimens here make for a divine freshness and I thought it worth making use of it." Severus noticed that a strange look had overtaken Hermione's face. Her smile conveyed her happiness, and her relaxed brow showed the peace and comfort she frequently experienced in his presence these days, but there was something in her eyes, an emotion that he could not place, or was rather too scared to name, there was a depth in them, a well of feeling that he wouldn't dare to presume for the heartache it would cause him were he wrong.

AN: Thankyou all again for your comments, they are always so appreciated, I'll plug it again that 40th comment may select a one shot, given that this fic is both on and Ao3, there will be a winner from both sites, whom I will contact when the time comes. As always, like, comment, share with your friends and enjoy!


	14. Chapter 14

“This is wonderful Severus, thank you.” Hermione’s voice rippled through the air, and Severus nodded his head in gesture, partially out of an attempt to respond and the other to knock his inky strands over his face to cover what he worried may be a blush forming. His impeccable control had been weakening over the past weeks and he needed a minute to regain his composure as opposed to his usual immediacy, and so continued to spear fish onto his fork and pop it in his mouth rather than look at those chocolate eyes. 

Prawns were rendering the pair speechless for the time being, and Hermione chose to utilise this by staring at Severus, in particular, his hands and the way his fingers held the cutlery, moving with elegance and ease that she found uncommon in men. Or at least the ones she had known. Whilst she did believe that patience was a virtue, she was coming to the realisation that this had gone on long enough, and she wasn’t sure if she would be able to resist the urges to caress his face much longer. Hermione waited until Severus had finished his meal, struggling to keep down much more due to the uneasiness in her stomach as she began to prepare for the speech she would make. Severus had noticed this lost appetite, thinking it to be an aversion to his culinary skills. 

“Did you not enjoy the seafood?” He pried, tentatively gazing across her features, the concern was clear in his face, although he would not have admitted it. 

“No, it was amazing”. Hermione took a deep breath, although continued to say nothing, some of the felix felicis would have been useful about now. 

“Then?” Severus gestured with his hand to her half full plate. 

“I have something to say, and if I don’t say it now I fear I never will.” Her words had commanded a strange silence in the room, as though any birds beyond the windows and crickets in the bushes had ceased to hear what she had to say. Severus placed down his cutlery, his hands folding over the other, preparing himself to listen.

“Severus, we have been friends for a while now, and I love our friendship.” She paused for a moment, Severus swallowed. There was a weight in the air, that had settled in the room that didn’t seemed to have been there before. As though something between them had been hidden behind a thinly veiled curtain until now, and it was finally threatening to open. 

“Severus, I want more, for us. I want us to be more, to mean more to each other.” Severus shifted in his seat, there was a tightness in his chest, as he anticipated her next words, unable to believe this moment was happening. 

“I know that its unlikely that you would want this also, and so please do not allow my feelings to change our current relationship, but I have to tell you that I have come to deeply care about you over these past months and want nothing more than to make you happy if I can.” The silence continued to permeate the room. Hermione had said her piece, and Severus could scarce believe it. He sat in shock and awe, and then finally surprise over how this divine witch could not think that he also had come to care about her so. 

“And what about your happiness?” As much as Severus could not deny that she had feelings for him, he was not blind to the truth that he could never make her happy, he was old, stubborn and a difficult man, as much as he longed to seize this opportunity that he did not think would arise again, he was loathe to make her feel obliged to him. There was a look in his eyes that she noticed, a flash of something hidden beneath the surface, lurking beneath dark depths. It sparked something in her and Hermione rose from her seat, moving herself to his side. Severus stood abruptly, his chair clattering behind him at his sudden ascent. 

“My happiness is right here.” The closeness of his body had released a surge of adrenaline coursing through her bloodstream, her hands reached up and rested upon his chest. She could feel his beating heart through his clothes. Severus breathed in deeply, his hand unconsciously wandered up to her neck, long fingers brushing back a lock of hair, running it across his pale skin. 

“Have I finally made the infamous potion master speechless?” Hermione smirked at him, the curve of her lips set his heart ablaze, his hand moved to cup her cheek, his thumb caressing the side of her face. 

“Silence witch.” There was a form of understanding beneath the pair, as both leaned in, lips touching ever so gently as Hermione’s fingers curled around his shirt, pulling him towards her. Their kiss deepened, his hands moved to cradle her head, fingers becoming entangled in her wild curls. As they parted, Severus stared into his eyes, searching for hints of disgust and regret. 

“I was serious Severus, all I want is right here right now.” Her smile was enough to assure him in that transcendental moment.   
“Could not have said it better myself.”

A.N I know I know, its been ages, I’m so sorry. Uni and normal life has been hell, and I wanted to get this chapter right. So here it is, the long awaited.. whatever you want to call it. Its happened, although there is much more angst and fluff to come. As always like and comment, its always lovely to hear your thoughts 


	15. Part 15

The feeling that arose in his heart as he watched her ribs gently rise and fall as she slept was something he had not experienced in an age. Frankly, he had forgotten the sensation and believed it never again possible. His heart was crooked, his soul blackened, yet this witch had braved the darkness and wormed her way inside, standing resolutely against his unsureness. 

The sun was just rising now, its delicate rays falling through the curtain to rest upon her strong form. Severus thought back over how he had always been taught that women were delicate, soft, in need of protection, but that was not what he had experienced. His mother, she had been hard, Narcissa had been cunning, a master at manipulating circumstance and events to the benefit of herself and her family, Bellatrix, whilst insane had been powerful, although that pride and carelessness had been her downfall. Minerva, was a lioness for all the courage she harboured. And Hermione, his Hermione, was so unbelievably strong, she had seen so much for one so young, as had they all, but still she rose, head high and carried herself with such dignity it was like a magnet that drew him in. Maybe it was her confidence, her brain, her candidness that drew her to him, maybe it was the stark contrast between the two or the fact that in many ways they weren’t so different at all. 

She stirred then, a hand stretching out to catch the sunbeams that danced along her fingers. Her mouth stretched open in a yawn before her eyes flicked open. She turned to look at the dark haired man that was staring at her. 

“Goodmorning”. She said, accompanied by another yawn. 

“Goodmorning”. His voice slid into the silence, she found that it warmed her heart like a glass of red and breathed life into her bones. 

“Tea?”

“Please.”

Magic lingered in the air, as it always did around magical folk, but now in a new way, there was a buzzing, electrifying sensation between the two. It hummed in the air around them, and Hermione marvelled at his gait as he strode out of the room and she stretched back to take up as much space as she could on the bed. Before long Severus has returned with a steaming cup of tea, and Hermione had sat up on the bed, desperately attempting not to spill any of the swirling liquid onto the white sheets. 

It was hard to know what to say to break the silence. It was comfortable, and relieved either from having to speak so early in the morning. Whilst things had changed, they were not finished, there were still so many things left unsaid, problems unfaced, and things unknown. This did not bother Severus upon this sunny morning, however it played at Hermione’s mind, and whilst she endeavoured to drink her beverage in peace, she struggled to not crease her forehead as she worried about what may be to come. 

“If it would be pleasing to you, I was considering taking a walk this morning, then to perhaps later apparate to a nearby town, there is an antique bookshop there I think you may enjoy.” His question lay in the air for a moment as Hermione paused, her answer would of course be yes, but she was struggling to form her thoughts this morning. 

“That sounds wonderful”. Severus’ watchful eye had noticed the moments breath it had taken for her response, and whilst wondering about its origin he knew she would not answer now, and that hopefully in time all would become clear, for now he would be patient and watch carefully. 

“Then you need to get yourself up and get dressed witch” he exclaimed with a smirk on his face, He left the room with a flourish as he went to choose some clothes for the day. 

It had become a habit of his to wear white or coloured shirts after he had finished at Hogwarts, anything other than the black he had come to associate with an effective way to hide blood. There was a particular navy shirt that he had seen Hermione taking a liking to before, so slipped it on and began buttoning as he strode into the bathroom to see Hermione wrangling her mane into a pony tail. 

“Let me help you with that”. Hermione finished putting up her hair with a snap of her hair tie and moved her able fingers to buttoning up Severus’ chest. Severus’ hand flicked up to her cheek, she smoothed down his shirt. His moved to kiss her on the forehead as he left to the kitchen to fix the both some breakfast. 

Hermione went to the kitchen to find Severus standing over two bowls, filled with yoghurt and berries. She gratefully accepted the food and began to eat heartily as the two stood in silence. 

 

The sunshine shone down on the pair as they walked, they watched as birds flew by across the blue expanse. The pair had mostly spent the morning in contemplative silence. Hermione had far too many things running through her mind to focus solely on her companion. 

“Penny for your thoughts?” His voice slipped beneath her skin, for the most part quieting the thoughts that were running laps in her head. She gazed up at him before returning her stare to the horizon. 

“We will have to return home soon”. Her faced seemed to drop at this, and his quickly mimicked her expression. 

“I know. But when we return, we can go back to our research, finally work and solve the problems in our theory.” He stopped their walk for a moment, turned to face the ocean before looking back at her again. “We have one another”. She was silent, a small smile appeared on the upturned corners of her lips, her eyes regained a slight spark at his words as she moved towards him. Slowly pressed into his chest, she felt his heartbeat against her cheek, felt the rise and fall of his chest and settled into his rhythm, allowing it to calm and soothe her. 

“We have each other”. She replied, and slipped her hand into his.   
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I AM BACK! I am so sorry for the long break, life has been crazy, but I am back, I have ideas for new oneshots for this story, and keen to keep it going. I finally have a good vision for this story and now just putting that in the works. Again I thank you all for your continued support, and please as always make sure to favourite/kudos and comment! :)


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